blank page, blank mind
Well, that’s not really true, the blank mind* part. Rather there is so much tumbling around in my brain that I think it’s created a bottle neck. I wish I could figure out a way out of that. Not that I can’t just sit down and yammer on – obviously I can. But when it comes to writing something real (anywhere outside of my head), well… the words just don’t want to come. So, yammer it is.
homework by Harry Herman Roseland
I wonder if anyone has invented, yet, a screen lock for writers and others who may need it. I know there is various software that mimics a typewriter (some with no backspace) and others like jdarkroom and such that claim to eliminate distractions (I tried that for a bit, hated it) but what I need – and I’m sure I’m not the only one – is something where I can voluntarily lock myself in, so to speak. Open the writing thing (Word, blog, whatever) and click something to lock the screen there. Maybe for a set period before one can opt out. No wandering off to check email, or to google this or that or to read blogs or news pages or anything, just for that period of time, until the lock releases (or, if you’ve gone past times up, you release it yourself).
I think it could work, but those little netbooks are so small and light, I think more people would be tempted to throw them across the room in frustration, after being locked in, so maybe not.
Besides, there is still nothing (beyond willpower! yes) to stop one from wandering into the kitchen for a snack or checking the tv and watching some insipid show for “just a few minutes” or deciding the cat looks lonely all curled up there napping by herself or a gazillion other things. Sigh.
It’s the vein thing I have the most problems with, I think. You know -
“ There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.”
- Walter Wellesley “Red” Smith
(Whozzat?)
I am notoriously closed mouthed, keeping my own counsel and not really letting go. There’s nothing wrong with that (says I) but well, veins carry life’s blood and to get to where I need to be to do what I need to do, I need to let loose of a little of that. Maybe I can start with pricking a finger, then work up to the whole wrist slitting thing.
Okay, here’s a drop – though I am fascinated with this era and can’t wait to read more and more, I started on this journey down histories pathways very reluctantly. Very reluctantly. I wanted to start reading/writing about what I knew about my family anywhere but here. It’s just that my Uncle Louis kept bugging me; for months, he just would not leave me alone, telling me over and over that if I wanted to understand this particular person or thing and their actions, I first needed to understand him. And more.
Now, we all have importunate relatives who want to direct our lives and our work but, see, Uncle Louis is just a tad different, seeing how he has been dead for over 200 years and really, how may have relatives like that? I sure didn’t, before this.
There’s a story there, this should be written but have I done it? Well, sort of – one of my many, many “drafts” which never get finished. I’m tempted to delete them all and start fresh. Might keep the titles and make notes to remember what it was I wanted to write about in the first place, like index cards, but there are always new ideas and things that want writing about.
Like stories of growing up, something Amy Tan (and others) recommended to do. I wonder if it’s an easier subject when one is younger and thus closer to the time period? There are some memories that have stuck with me over time – others are completely lost, though some may return if I do start writing the stories down.
We’ll see.
*And, of course, the “blank page” part is no longer true either, because, well… I have written.
Nanette is | Topic: before midnight, repairing the past, storytellers, stuff | Tags: None
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