Serenity… refocus – seek joy – thrive

almost there

Where? I guess the easiest – if not exactly informative – answer is… I’ll know when I get there.

It seems – feels – like lots will start happening next week, that there will be an ending to the sense of being in stasis that has been, if not my life (truth, there), then at least my creative persona. Or something like that

In reality not much will be changing, outwardly, at all and nothing that could be pointed to as the reason for this feeling of… maybe renewal. I do begin my real classes tomorrow, but I don’t think that’s it. Financial aid will start coming in sometime next month, but not much (although *any* will be very welcome) but, while that is part of it, surely it can’t be all?

Then again if not all, at least a big part of it. I’ll not have *no* worries, but definitely I’ll have fewer. Maybe the knowledge that help is on the way has freed up a part of my brain that had been previously occupied by worries over how to pay the rent, the electric bill AND feed everyone –and now that I can eliminate at least a couple of these things which had left me feeling so deadened little green shoots of creative life are springing up again.

Probably. Whatever the reason, I welcome it. Just today I’ve written at least notes on two scenes for my book, begun thinking more deeply about how to round out the characters, decided on a January re-opening date for Human Beams and in general just followed along after my brain as it chugged along seeing new possibilities in everything.

Whatever accounts for the sudden return of my inner optimistic, creative self, I’m glad it’s back. I’ve missed it.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm and is filed under bellybutton bedazzlement, Human Beams. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. JJS

    9:27 am on November 23rd, 2009 1

    So glad to hear some inner green-space is opening up for you Nanette.

    It’s been a huge peeve of mine for a long time – but especially in the last year of collapsing resources for so many of us – that people so utterly fail to understand that poverty/lack of basic security completely envelops creative energy; they treat unemployment in this economy as an ‘opportunity’ to make more art of whatever kind (‘well, at least you have so much time!’), as if not knowing where you’re going to sleep or if you’re going to be able to feed those for whom you’re responsible or not having dignity, privacy, freedom, or resources generates lots of free mental space for art.

    May we all have enough stability and security to not only survive, but to be able to turn to the creative with relaxation and abundance!

  2. Nanette

    5:46 pm on November 23rd, 2009 2

    Hi Jessamyn, good to see you. And yep, when I was writing this I remembered a similar conversation we had a year or so ago. Starving artists and all that.

    Hope all is well with you?

  3. JJS

    6:42 pm on November 23rd, 2009 3

    I’ve been seeking out tons of art, music, & poetry lately to feed an otherwise lean time: that helps keeps some green space open, too. : )

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