This is not, of course, a very momentous decision, likely to change the world or anything. But it might change my world a little bit. I have dither issues, and when I can’t decide which of a few things to do, I’m very likely to do something else entirely.

The most competition is for the morning hours because it’s then I can think and plan, with only the noise of the birds for company. For some time I have given these hours to various “jobs”, but that was a mistake, for a few reasons. One, I find it depresses my entire day to begin it by doing something I dislike. My energy is depleted, and my will to do much else as well, especially creative type work. I don’t work on my book, I don’t write for my sites, and I find it a struggle to do something as simple as making a graphic for a project.

So, I’m going to turn it around. The morning, the quiet hours — those are for me. To create, to write, or simply to sit quietly and ponder. I need that time and I have to reject the thought that just because I work out of my home, that it is selfish or dumb to take it. That’s silly. Nine AM or so is time enough to begin on the other work; all the hours before then, whether I wake up at four in the morning or seven, are mine to do with what I will. So there.

Of course I need an end time, too, otherwise not only will I sluff off and do everything else but work, I’ll also wind up attempting to make up that work later in the day. Or, yes, in the early morning. So, why not follow tradition and just do terrible things — or, rather, “the job” between the hours of 9 and 5? Period. Whatever I get done during those hours (and it could be quite a lot, if I’d actually do it) I get done. And after that, I don’t worry about it until the next day. I think that will work.

Sure, you’d think I would have figured this out ages ago, but I seem to often try things the hard way first, sigh.

(The photo at the top is from what looks like an interesting site, Wanderlust and Lipstick. The tagline is “Your Destination for Women’s Travel.” I haven’t really looked though the site yet, as I was just looking for a photograph, but it appears they have all sorts of information on women traveling alone. And stories of women about their travels — the photo I used is from a woman’s account of her time in South Africa.)

Birds are singing outside my window. I mostly hear the fast-paced, high-pitched twittering of what sounds like the morning gossip of the little birds. Occasionally a deeper hoot overrides that, a little resonant and yodeling sounding – perhaps pigeons? Now the ravens, who sound like they have a perpetual complaint, add their discordant caw to the symphony.

Daylight, it would appear, has arrived.

It’s the last day of April, this day. I don’t know that that has any significance to anything at all, but it seemed like something to note. Or something to fill the page with, anyway.

I have a piece I am working on–mostly in my head–for my Black history site, on Mammy. I’m a little hesitant because I’ve read a few posts/articles that others have done on the topic, and they are so good its intimidating. But I’m going to write it anyway, building a little off of theirs but also adding my own thoughts and impressions.

I absolutely hate doing my little content writing gig and I find myself avoiding it at all costs. Only, the cost of avoiding it could be living without lights, or living in the street for that matter, so I need to think of it as a job. One I go to everyday whether I want to or not. I think if I set a time period — I work at my job between this and that time — it might be better. This way, I’ll know it has an end and whatever is not completed during this period of time can just wait til the morrow. Might encourage me to stop getting distracted by every little thing, too.

I have to remember that it’s only for a relatively short time, too, that I need to do this. Hopefully.

Lone tree standing strong amid the flooded landscape, Ashulia, Dhaka, Bangladesh. Copyright protikH

[visit protikH's flickr stream here for more great photos]

Alice's Mirror by Duane Michals

And then do it.”
- Duane Michals

[image from here]

I woke up early enough this morning to catch the dawn light and thoughts. I won’t say I accomplished as much as I want to, but I’ve made a start, and that’s the important part. Okay, well, finishing is also important, but you can’t finish what you don’t begin.

Hah. Of course, that’s not true either, is it? Of course you can finish something you didn’t begin. Someone else just has to have begun it first. And, when you think about it, there is very little that hasn’t been started already. We may need to weave our own platform, but to do that we reach up and grab strands of thoughts and lives and loves which were woven by others, some many decades or centuries ago, and refashion them into something all our own. And then someone else comes along to maybe pull one of your strands to add to their life weaving, insuring that at least that part keeps moving on.

That is sort of comforting, life as a kind of continuous, multi-created tapestry.

There is a bit of music in the background – easy listening, as they call it, that is very easy to not listen to, or at least to pay no attention to. A few families around eating and some kids over across the way, but the sound is somehow muted. The foam ceiling tiles, maybe?

There is nothing very pretty about this place. The mall itself is old and only half filled with stores. It lost one of its two “anchor” stores last year, a company that had been in business for 116 years or something, but couldn’t ride out this recession. I don’t know if it had anything to do with their demise, but their website was atrocious. They were sort of like a Macy’s store, but all you could buy on their website were mattresses. And maybe coffee pots.

I would people watch … I always read about writers doing that. Only, I take my glasses off in order to see the screen better, but without my glasses I can’t see the people unless they are standing right in front of me, so… fuzzy blob watching, maybe.

Anyway, I think I like it here. Free wifi. Not quiet, but noise that is not for me, which makes a very big difference. A block from my house. it’s my first day trying this out, but… I think I just may have found my writing space.