I know what they mean, and the whale was sick and all that… but still, that’s like saying death row prisoners in Utah (or wherever that is they have firing squads) are “euthanized with bullets”.

I visited my ex-husbands Facebook page today (I don’t believe I have him “friended”, though we are friendly) and came across a visible manifestation of one of the main differences between us. He has over 2000 people friended; I have 33.

I also visited the pages of some people I knew long ago, in another place and time. I loved seeing the photos of them and their kids and seeing how everyone was doing, and how much they have changed. I miss them all and have happy memories of most. I did not friend any.

Which reminds me that for a couple of years I tried to find a couple of old friends of mine, checking every once in a while to see if they were online or no. It finally occurred to me that probably the kids were online, if not the parents, and I might be able to find them that way. I remembered the name of their oldest – I was there, at the hospital, when she was born and used to babysit her sometimes. I’d sometimes sing her parts of the Barry Manilow song, Mandy, because that was her nickname, but not after I really listened to the words “Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking,” etc. Still, I’ve always associated that song with her.

Anyway, I searched for her name – and found her obituary. A car accident, years ago. I never did find her parents and I’ve kinda stopped looking for people’s kids online.

I want this book. A paper book, too, though I now love the convenience of ebooks. I have lots of them on my BlackBerry now, almost all of them free books. Which means some classics, some contemporary good finds and some that make you want to bow down to editors and copy editors and thank them for the work that they do. Some of the contemporary (and obviously unedited) stories I’ve read have good bones but they flop about all over the place and are like risen bread dough – should be pounded and kneaded and rolled out and formed and risen again to make it a loaf.

It’s possible that I mixed some metaphors there, and my bread comes out about an inch high, but oh well.

Anyway, though, I want to try to buy (used or new) a printed book a month. Or maybe every two months, something like that. Build up my library again – with books I don’t have to give back to the real library.

Ah, well. Quiet time is over.

It’s frustrating sometimes. Conservatives spent years filling the airwaves with so much pro-Republican, pro-conservative claptrap and going on so many attacks against anyone who attacked one of them, and going on counter-attacks against liberals that the media is fearful of even breathing on the rightwing the wrong way.

We, apparently, are going to spend years filling the airwaves with so much anti-Democrat claptrap and going on so many attacks against Obama, the administration, the Democratic Senate and House that the media will wet itself with joy that *they* don’t have to do it, just quote “the left”, and so there is still no fear of anyone breathing on the rightwing the wrong way. And certainly no fear of retribution for attacking Democrats – heck, isn’t everyone doing it?

Bottom line: so far, my experience has been fairly positive. Other bottom line: I don’t think distance learning is for everyone.

Some scattered points:

Education at for-profit schools is expensive, far more expensive than at my local community college.  BUT… because the local community college is so cheap, they have huge waiting lists for almost every class and people are just hoping that someone will drop a class so that they can get in. Also, although they offer some courses online, they do not offer full degrees online and, at this point in time, I am unable to commit to offline classes. So… it is more expensive, which means more debt after I finish school. But at least I am in classes now and not somewhere down the road.

Some of the really negative stuff I’ve read about UOP concerns the enrollment advisors. Apparently there are some less than ethical ones who will say anything to make a commission or something. That was not my experience. My enrollment advisor offered no pressure at all, made sure I understood the costs and encouraged me to limit loans as much as possible and has been, in my experience, an all around good guy.

In addition to the enrollment advisor students also have an academic advisor and a financial advisor. I simply love my academic advisor – he is smart, funny, artistic (his passion, which he will be leaving to follow soon, is costume designing. He sews them himself, so each one is tailored and unique.) Oh, and he’s quite helpful if I have any questions about my classes or future courses and such, too.

Some instructors/facilitators are more involved in the classes than others.  Some classes feel more like reading and discussion groups, with the instructor just giving the questions and sometimes other prompts, but not interacting much with the class and basically using a check-off template to give feedback on work. Other instructors are very “hands-on” and do all of the above, plus interacting with everyone and adding personal comments to the feedback thus, to my mind, creating more of a personal connection with the students. My environmental science teacher was one of those and I loved the class, and even now have more of an interest in (and understanding of) the subject than I did before. So, I prefer the latter approach but I learn well enough with either, and that’s the important part. Luckily, in what promises to be my favorite class (World Literature), the instructor is hands-on, involved, thorough and loves the topic, so yay!

I’ve noticed that the further I progress in the year, the better quality of students there are in my classes. In my first classes there were some students who seemed barely literate. Not that they were stupid or anything – many of them owned their own businesses, or were salespersons, or managers of this or that, and all that (some stay at home moms and such, as well, most of whom seemed to be better writers than the average), but in a medium that depends so much on writing, they just were not at all good at it. However, there is help for that with exercises and stuff in the UOP library, as well as writing (and other) labs for students who need more help in one area or another (I plan to do some of the math labs and exercises before I face Algebra 1 and 2 myself) so not writing well is not a death-knell to getting a degree there. They also have an automated paper checker thing that you can run your academic papers through that checks language, grammar, academic usage, passive voice, and so on (it would rip this post all to pieces because it is so ineptly written, but y’all aren’t grading me, so… ) But it does require that one be self-directed and one of those ubiquitous “self-starters” to reach out to the tools to improve.

So, I don’t know. It’s working for me, for now. I am 50-something years old and had been out of any sort of classes for years, so I think it was a good start for me. I mostly wanted to get used to writing on demand, and that I do – I have to write one or two short essays (no more than 2500 words, and most no more than 1500) weekly and that is good practice for me. Once I graduate from here, though, with a degree in communications (a subject that, I have discovered, bores me silly) I am moving on to, probably, the University of Maryland. They have a online division where I can complete my bachelor’s in English. It looks like a slightly more rigorous program than UOP’s, plus they offer many other electives and also minors and I think it will just be a better fit for me. I talked to an admissions advisor from UMUC today and they cheerfully accept University of Phoenix transfer credits (another thing I was worried about after reading this or that online) because it is a regionally accredited school, so there is no problem there.

Anyway, my opinion, for what it’s worth.

That’s the only thing I can figure out because if I know anything about the site5 people is that they are efficient. And very, very quick (whenever I ask a question or have in issue, it is answered or fixed almost as soon as I write in about it – sometimes before, it seems like), so I don’t think I just fell through any cracks or anything.

Whatever the reason, I’ll take it! And declare site5 the best, once again. If this holds until tomorrow, I’ll have gone without any interruption at all, so fingers crossed!

Also, too, I wonder why knowing the name of an elusive tune seems like it would solve everything?

Not that anyone will notice all that much difference, since I have been in Bad Blogger mode for the past week or two anyway! I have some posts in the works though – or, sort of in the works, anyway, as they are all still in my head. And it’s not as if I have not been writing at all – I have! Essays for classes and such, and also ideas and scenes and such for some short stories. And doing (limited) work on my book. And, finally, coming up with an idea of something to do with Human Beams. And trying to figure out the Buddypress social networking software for my black history site, the book of louis. And, um… well, that’s enough, no?

Anyway, the dreaded “This account has been suspended!” notice should only last a couple of days or so, then I’ll be back up and running.

But it’s still not mine – the last part of it, anyway. It’s my ex-husband’s.

I didn’t change my last name after my divorce for a couple of reasons. One, I was living in a new city, the city where my ex grew up, and his family was rather well-known throughout the community. It made no difference in the long run, but at the time I thought it might be better to keep the name for that reason, if nothing else. Also, I didn’t like my unmarried name. Besides, that one wasn’t really mine either.

My mother married in her early 20s and got divorced not long after, as far as I can tell. She, too, kept her married name – and all of her children also had that name. But none of us are the children of the man she married. When I was young I asked her about that and she said that for purposes of school and everything she just thought it was better to have us all under one name. Which makes sense (kinda), especially for that time period.  So, anyway, that’s where that one came from.

Now,  I could use my father’s last name, but that one doesn’t feel like it’s mine either – partly because I’ve never used it, but also because it is an African name. And I think that, at this late date, I would feel false using it because I am not African. In culture, that is, although of course I am at least half African – and certainly more than that, because of my mother’s side. Anyway, that’s an option, but not one I am comfortable with yet. Not to mention that I have no idea how to even go about changing my name should I decide on one to change it to. And about that, maybe I should just make one up?

Of course, of all the things going on in the world – and in my life – this probably ranks among the least to worry about, but still… it bothers me. And I have no idea why. Maybe it’s because of everything else going on – a form of escapism, lol.

Probably be easier to just go get some travel brochures and daydream.

via A Peek Into My Chaos

PISTACHIOS – Kakenya from POCKO on Vimeo.

via this is africa, via u got this love who says:
A great (true) story about a Maasai girl trying to go above and beyond. Please check it out!!

[An animation for Vital Voices, an organisation working globally for women’s independence. This film tells the childhood story of Kakenya Ntaiya, a Masai woman who negotiated herself out of an arranged marriage and convinced her village to collect money for her to study in the USA. She has since returned to the village and built a girls’ school there. Directed by Aaron Kisner and Pistachios. Music by Dan Radlauer. Produced by Blacklist]

I love this. What a brilliant and determined young girl (and, now, woman.)