At first I sat down and, over a few days, dashed off about 50,000 words all together, and then got stuck. I simply had no idea what the story was about (beyond the beginning), no idea where to go next, and along with all that, when I went back to do editing I instead started writing the entire thing over again. I found that annoying.

So, I figured out that I am not a “seat of the pants” writer, even though I don’t like structure much as a rule. Mind, lack of structure has me wasting time and redoing things in other parts of my life as well, but I think I am too old to change that. At least, in things other than writing my book, that is.

What I have been working on now is an outline, of sorts. Still sort of scattered, but I figure that’s okay as long as I have the main points and events in there. I know where the story needs to go, I know what’s in the middle, and I know what happens at the end. Well, what the goal is that needs to be reached, anyway. And by adding scene ideas or little notes along the way, I can also see what needs to happen in each chapter. Theoretically.

I really don’t think having an outline will constrain my imagination, though. In fact, I think it will allow it to soar in between the lines. I know in general what needs to happen, so that leaves me free to apply myself to making it happen in a cohesive, interesting way. Or changing it completely, but still keeping it within the big picture.

Another advantage is that I don’t have that much problem with imagination and thinking up things; my main problem is in the language. Working within the basic structure of the outline will save me from having to think up every part of the story as I go along, thus allowing me to focus my attention on word choice and placement and all that. This is the plan, anyway, and I don’t see why it shouldn’t work out.

If it doesn’t, though, well this is my practice book, so I’ll just try something else next.

a pretty picture from Tumblr

I’ve been reading lately (mostly on Tumblr, it must be said) how Tumblr is the newest, greatest thing and will surpass this that or the other thing. That, actually, may be true. It is so easy and it can be fun. It can also be a little annoying, particularly for introverts, I think. Or maybe just for this introvert.

It’s good that, if you have friends on there to follow and who follow you, you have an almost instant community. And the more you post or reblog, the more followers you might get and the more community–sort of–you are part of. You are rarely “alone” on Tumblr, even compared to some other social media sites. And you don’t have to have anything at all to say in order to participate, which can be a boon. People do create original content on there, or express their thoughts, or post new pictures, but much of it is reblogging what someone else has put on there.

The thing about communities, though, is that… well, there are other people in them. Sometimes lots of them, those you know, and complete strangers. A post can be reblogged by anyone at all. They can just send it through as is, or add their own thoughts, enter into the conversations and everyone has a grand old time. Or sometimes not, depending on how the conversation goes. Anyway, at times it can feel as if you are being inundated with people and all their… everything. Which, for introverts (or, again, at least for this one) can be very wearing.

Obviously the solution is to find a little balance, which most people seem to be able to do. Me, not so much when I first start something. I tend to just jump all in and neglect everything else, and then wonder when I get burned out on it so quickly.

Anyway, I’m not completely burned out on it yet–I still like to visit my friends there, and post pretty pictures, and see what great things everyone is talking about. But I also have other things I need to do, including figuring out what to do with my sites… it seems that almost all my domains are up for renewal this month, and I can’t figure out how I let that happen!

So, some future posts I have planned will be about organizing out loud (or, rather, in public on this site), and creating worlds and all sorts of other things. I have stuff to write about, now just need to see if I will do it.

It’s still in beta so it’s free for now, as long as you are willing to put up with a few bugs… and I am. I downloaded it this morning, just to try it out and to see if it was easier to work with than, say, Liquid Story Binder – and I’ve been tooling around with it ever since. Creating characters, making notes, jumping from one thing to another, which is what my mind does anyway. Next is to gather all my notes on this particular book from all the places I have them scattered and put them in there, organize some stuff, make a sort of plot outline and have it just where I can see it – and then write.

I think I like this software, lol.  If they disable the beta copies when the real thing comes out, I will probably even buy it – I think it’s only $40 or so. It doesn’t have as many features as the Mac version because it has been in production for less time, but it works for me and that’s all I care about right now.

Plus, I can smile at Mac users now without even a tinge of envy-green. Okay, well still maybe a lil’ bit, but still.

So, why don’t I have a house or a closet filled with red? I think it is because it’s a bold color. And it’s not that I cannot be bold and direct, but it is more my nature to be more subtle and somewhat subdued (appearing.) Indirect. Perhaps employing a bit of misdirection, in some adversarial situations, before moving in for the full reveal. From the cats that stalked through my life from my infancy on, I have learned the value of watching and waiting for the right time to pounce. (And, like them, I sometimes miscalculate and wind up falling, empty-handed, into an inelegant heap.)

But the thing with me and the color red. I don’t want it to blast its presence – I want it to hide in the grass and leap out to surprise me. A brief and sudden splash in a sunset; a wink from the midst of brown and gold leaves; or skipping through a profusion of colors in a painting, its strength blending in with all the other hues to make them all more powerful. This is how I like it best. A red wall leaves me cold; if I had the money I’d probably be one of those strange people who buy a white canvas painting that has one red dot, though.

So, there you go. My favorite color is red.

I think first in my mind was a rejection of the notion that if you have not lived a certain way, or done certain things during your life, or thought this or that wonderful thought, that your life has been wasted. Of course, no one comes right out and says that (or few people do, anyway.) But the impression is left anyway, that if you have not dropped everything – at least once – and taken off for a far-off place; if you have not looked at your life and yearned for something more, something out of reach; if you are not miserable because you carry a lunch pail and a hardhat instead of intricate prayer beads from a culture and language you don’t understand, that you have not really lived.

A gross simplification, generalization, sure. But I think the general point is pretty clear and perhaps you’ve noticed something similar. Life, with a capital L, must, it appears, almost always be lived somewhere else other than where you are, by someone other than you as you exist today.

So, that’s one thing. The next is that I started conducting character interviews, where I ask questions of the characters who are to people my book. I’m not very good at that yet, particularly since my characters are apparently almost as closed-mouthed as I am. So, again, there is just a sort of surface skimming, little depth, little real knowledge of who they are, who they were, what makes them tick.  And so I thought – well, why not just start with me? If I talk, maybe they will too. And since no one else was likely to do it – ordinary bloggers/baby novelists not being all that interesting to most people – I decided to do the interview myself. Makes sense, no?

The last reason – or, at least, the last one for now – is one I just tacked on. My mother died recently, and though I had talked to her before about her life and gathered some of her memories, there is still a lot I don’t know. And, likely, will never find out now. Some memories she just didn’t like to talk about, and others (I have found out through the years) she liberally sprinkled with fantasy, but I still wanted to know and to record it.

Well, I have grandchildren and one day they also may want to know things about me. I don’t plan on doing a Tell All (though there is little enough to tell, actually) but I do want to leave something besides a “born here, died there, did this in between.” Why not a “thought this, wanted that, loved this other thing, hated something else, was imperfect, was a failure, was a success, was born here, died there and lived in between, however that life was.”?

Or something like that. So that’s part of what I hope to accomplish. And the other part? I guess will have to wait for another interview.

[Ed. note: This question should have been asked and answered Monday, but I was too tired at the end of the day to adequately answer it. So here it is today.]

[painting up top via here and Zuky]

Anyway, from the past week (plus whatever was there before that I never mentioned.)

Books, Book Blogs, etc – my page mostly sites featuring writers/bloggers of color, but not exclusively.

White Readers Meet Black Authors – great site. Funny, irreverent and very informative.

Small Beer Press – Indie publisher (they have some interesting titles there) , blog.

Weightless Books – Small Beer’s ebook site for Indie Presses

The Happy Nappy Bookseller – How to resist that name? I didn’t even try. This site seems to be geared toward children and young adult titles.

On Writing – I sometimes come across stuff other people wrote, or writing groups, or whatever to do with writing or that is inspirational. When I do, it’s going to be stashed here.

Write On! – weekly diary series at Daily Kos. Tips, discussion, analysis and exercises.

Wordplay – writer K. M. Weiland’s blog – tagline: “Helping writers become authors.”

Free Write on writing vs. Writing – Writer extraordinaire Lisa Factora-Borchers, of Ecdysis, on writing, who gets to be considered “a writer” and much more.

That’s all for now! Feel free to drop a link to your own blog or site in the comments, no matter what the focus of your site is (well, unless it is spam or something.)